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Now I hate using the term best in the World to describe things because 9 times out of 10 they won’t be. But the kebab to your left most certainly is The Best Kebab in the World! It even beats a Dannys Armenian Kebab… only because both have the same name and this is fucking awesomeness to the max. Dannys still wins hands down in as far as regular pita kebabs goes.

I was challenged to take this bad boy on last night, being the eating machine that I am, with the bet being I wouldn’t finish it. One extra large kebab…pfft.. thats nothing for the man who orders 2 small kebabs on a standard night out after eating a massive tea. What arrived I seriously wasn’t expecting!

As you can see, the kebab is the length of 2 large curry trays, so thats about 45cm / 18″ by my reckoning. It contains 2 kima meat rolls as you would find in a kima naan bread, then full to the brim with chicken tikka and lamb tikka, a bit of salad on the base then polluted further with chilli and garlic sauce. The content is in a giant naan bread and being a fan of all of the above, I was in Hog Heaven.

I started by cutting the fucker in half to leave me with what would’ve been two very large kebabs individually. Then I was picked out and ate enough meat to get my chops around it and devoured the first half in a flash. In fairness I was pretty full after it, somehow naan is a lot more filling than pita bread, but I persevered.

I hadn’t eaten all day being out on site for most of it (and only being offered one fucking brew might I add and I was in an INTERNET CAFE) so I was famished by 9pm when this arrived, just to put the word full into perspective.

So a few bites into the second half and my stomach is rumbling with the usual IBS bullshit curries, chilli or anything spicy brings, but I’m used to it now and just ignore it. Unfortunately my arse doesn’t think on the same lines and after a quick dash to the bog I was back to continue. The second image below is testimony to this stage.

Within moments of my return I was defeated. I tried to ram a few more mouthfuls down but after actually listening to Health Advice off my girlfriend, I put the last few bites down and admitted my failure. The last photograph is what I had left, and whilst you might think “pussy” for not finishing the lot, when you have the Tikka Shakes, you’re probably best doing so too…

Every moment of it was awesome though, so if you’re in the Fylde area of the UK, I highly recommend Kai’s Balti House for an Extra Large Special Kebab with Chilli and Garlic Sauce. It was fucking shit hot, and about 11am this morning it was hot shit…