STUPIDFUCKINGCUSTOMERS : The Official Statement by Phorenzik
I don’t work there anymore.
I feel pretty ashamed at the moment. I did over 5 years there and it all came down to this.
I know some of the stuff I blogged about was bad, but a lot was over exaggerated for comedic effect and lots of stuff was made up entirely. I thought everyone knew this?
My boss had every right to be annoyed, but he definately missed the point with a lot of it. It’s hard to convey emotion through words sometimes. I think he read too much into some of the posts and assumed malicious attacks on his character that I simply did not mean to convey. It was a joke that went a bit too far.
I think the post that seemed to annoy him the most was the ‘Top tips at work’ section. I posted something about stealing a quid from the till. This was entirely made up. I’ve never stolen anything from there because it’s not in my nature to do so. I may be a lot of things, but a thief certainly isn’t one of them. I even remember doing something in the comments section about me not actually stealing anything and that the post was made up. I have a strange sense of humour that some people just don’t get.
Basically, my boss now thinks that I was shit, was always shit and always will be shit. The truth of the matter is that the only thing I really did wrong was blog about the stuff that annoys me.
I could go on forever about who was wrong and who was right. The fact is that my boss was in the wrong with certain working conditions. I moaned about them, went too far, and lost my job.
MarioMark still works there. The things he said were not as bad as the things I said.
I want to forget about things now and move on.
Phorenzik
mike said
am October 8 2007 @ 3:51 pm
dude, that effin’ blows. that blog was hilarious. a sad day for the internetz indeed.
BrownieBoy said
am October 8 2007 @ 3:57 pm
BrownieBoy said
am October 8 2007 @ 3:58 pm
any chance he could start another blog with wild and outrageous ramblings?
Endemion said
am October 8 2007 @ 4:54 pm
Fuck.
Maybe I willhave to start a blog.
Maybe go for Stupidfuckinggeneralpublic.com and make it a general site and let lots of us post there
hmm Stupidfuckingbosses.com ….. hmmm
Its a sad day indeed, oh well Phorenzik if you read this, gimmie a shout you can come down and visit me in my little Indie, and laugh at all my SFC’s and I’ll buy you a pint
Anyways, good luck getting a new job and getting on with stuff etc.
Biagrin said
am October 8 2007 @ 8:17 pm
im totally gutted about that. SFC was genuinely the first time i wet myself laughing at something on the net (actually its the second - the first time is when i played runescape and used to constantly do that stupid dance thing).
Im one of the people who found delmorpha through SFC.
Im sure you could always start a new one about the general public - after all this is great britain, where people really are thick as pig shit and where old bints like to chat in shop doorways so you cant get past them.
If you do start a new blog then let me know as ill be happy to write a few posts.
Endemion said
am October 9 2007 @ 8:34 am
Oh fuck off with theold people in the shop doorway!
Seriously I get that all the time fucks me right off it does.
I am always having to go open the door and do the polite ‘Excuse me, would you mind moving so your not blocking my shop doorway with your trip-wire style mass crossed walking sticks’.
phorenzik said
am October 9 2007 @ 10:10 am
Thanks for the support everyone. Now, If you could all just send me a grand each, I can put off this job hunting malarky for a while.
Boris said
am October 9 2007 @ 12:12 pm
So yes, you can see it wasn’t made up, or assumed- as sad day indeed.
But i’d love to join in a communal ranting blog. I could be tohe one who posts occasionally, and isn’t very good so all the others feel better about how good they are.
Endemion said
am October 9 2007 @ 3:20 pm
It could be done!
I have plenty of stuff to rant about, but sadly am to lazy to set up a blog. But would be happy to contribute.
Delmorpha said
am October 9 2007 @ 5:37 pm
Someone come up with a decent URL and I’ll register and host it, I have a web server after all… in the mean time anyone with shit on their chest and likes a good rant is more than welcome to join the team here temporarily.. just chuck me an email to delmorpha (at) delmorpha.com with your content and ill sort it out. I may even give you a log in if its good
It seems so sad to see your name with no website URL… and if I had the money going spare you’d be more than welcome to it… perhaps I could set up HelpPhorenzik.com and we post a sob story on there for you… if all the people who read SFC gave you £1 that’d set you up for a bit mate
Biagrin said
am October 9 2007 @ 7:33 pm
@delmorpha: if you register a URL and can host on your own server then I have a vbulletin going spare at the minute (genuine of course but its 3.5.4) so if you fancy joining up and putting a forum together then im game
Star said
am October 10 2007 @ 2:41 am
“and he lived his life like a candle in the wind never fading……”
Bollocks… when i saw the page had gone i was worried this had happen :(…. any idea how he found it? He definitely missed the point… you never really criticized him and if you did it was only with throw away comments. Its not like the blog affected business or brought anything bad onto the shop… none of us know where the fuck it is! in fact maybe give us a hint and we can send letter apon letter demanding your re instated!
Don’t let it dishearten you keep blogging and we shall keep reading!
Endemion said
am October 10 2007 @ 8:35 am
thejoysofretail.com ?
retailexperiences.com ?
getthefuckoutofmyshopyoumong.com ?
hmm to early, brain not working. Will try again later.
Biagrin said
am October 10 2007 @ 10:35 am
greatbritishpublic.com
whatmakesbritainshit.com
demeanachav.com
societyisshit.com
forfuckssake.com
bludgeonadolie.com
phorenzik said
am October 10 2007 @ 11:16 am
A comunal blog/forum thing sounds like It could be a lot of fun.
I’ll definately do another blog, it’s just a matter of time before I get round to it.
Boris said
am October 10 2007 @ 11:34 am
Some name suggestions:
I Hate The General Public
Grumpy Young Men
Angry Young Men
Twelve Angry Men [if there's enough of us]
Kill The Public
The World Is Full Of Screaming Morons
Endemion said
am October 10 2007 @ 11:46 am
greatbritishpublic.com
I like this one Biagrin, nice .
whywelostourempire.com maybe
Am still trying to work some good ones out, not having much time in between my “No I don’t have any fucking Wii’s” phone calls.
Delmorpha said
am October 10 2007 @ 12:17 pm
greatbritishpublic.com is taken, .co.uk is available though… and I like societyisshit.com (available) even if it is a bit emo…
I also like Grumpy Young Men and ForFucksSake (would be awesome) but both are gone with domain squatter cunts…
fuckyouyoufuckingfuck would’ve been a favourite of mine, but again taken by domain squatting bastards so heres a few others :
bovinesdigest
)
societyfordummies
britonsforhandguns.co.uk
hitlerhadtherightideahewasjustanunderachiever (Bill Hicks tribute
angermanagementrejects
meh… maybe another couple of cups of coffee will help with this…
Boris said
am October 10 2007 @ 1:29 pm
The Decline And Fall Of Western Civilisation
A Place In The Rain
Last Train From Scroteville
Escape From Scally Island
Be Glad I’m Not Armed
The Scally Sterilisation Project
Britons For Breeding Licenses
Delmorpha said
am October 10 2007 @ 1:31 pm
Escape From Scally Island
Thats fucking awesome..
Boris said
am October 10 2007 @ 1:33 pm
I was rather pleased with that one.
Delmorpha said
am October 10 2007 @ 1:35 pm
I’m seeing the website already with some Piratey writing and pixel art chavs asking someone to buy Special Brew…
Boris said
am October 10 2007 @ 1:57 pm
Is it taken though?
Delmorpha said
am October 10 2007 @ 2:16 pm
No its available in both com and co.uk - once we get a unanimous “aye” I’ll register it and I’ll email anyone whose expressed interest their very own login to whatever CMS we decide to use.
Boris said
am October 10 2007 @ 2:19 pm
Got to be the co.uk I think.
phorenzik said
am October 10 2007 @ 2:29 pm
I like it. I also liked ‘Be glad I’m not armed’ too.
FFS was a great one. Shame some domain squatter has it.
phorenzik said
am October 10 2007 @ 2:31 pm
I was actually thinking of doing a seperate blog called STUPID FUCKING EVERYTHING. I registered it and made it in the exact same template as SFC. But, I deleted it when I deleted SFC in case my boss assumed it was a retalliation blog about him, which it wasn’t, nor was it going to be. I feel like I can’t write anything now for fear of it being mis-interpreted.
Horse said
am October 10 2007 @ 2:35 pm
Firstly, Phorenzik, you are a legend and i’m sorry your shallow boss felt so violated as to take such drastic actions. The guys a cock-rot in my eyes. Very best of luck for the near future, etc.
Secondly, YES! A communal blog from us all (and more) as a group would rock! Bring it on!
Just look what ended up happening when a small band of rebels decided to take on the evil galactic empire, Let’s bring these fucks to their knees people and destroy their (proverbial) death star!
I’m in!
H.
Biagrin said
am October 10 2007 @ 2:46 pm
gamersagainstsociety
antibintbrigade
devourthestupid
whywearebetter
wearenotcontrolledbythetv
antistupidsocialclub
loadsofanger
britainisslow
gamersagainststupidity
weshouldbeheroes
Delmorpha said
am October 10 2007 @ 2:54 pm
Ohforfuckssake is available in com and co.uk anyone?
Horse said
am October 10 2007 @ 2:55 pm
togetherwestand
hatredunited
yourfuckingnext
watchyourbacksfucks
Horse said
am October 10 2007 @ 2:56 pm
ohforfuckssake could work
phorenzik said
am October 10 2007 @ 3:25 pm
OFFS would make a cool logo thingy too. I think we should go for a snappy, witty name that could be turned into an acronym.
Delmorpha said
am October 10 2007 @ 3:27 pm
I agree… OhFFS rolls off the tongue quite nicely!
Biagrin said
am October 10 2007 @ 3:27 pm
actually i thought that ohforfuckssake would be okay after i seen the forfuckssake suggestion. this is surreal
BrownieBoy said
am October 10 2007 @ 3:28 pm
ohforfuckssake would be cool, i wouldn’t mind reading that and it might be funny!
phorenzik said
am October 10 2007 @ 3:29 pm
What about ARRRRGGHHH!!!.com
phorenzik said
am October 10 2007 @ 3:32 pm
I think Stupidfuckingeverything.com & co.uk are available. i registered it as a blogger name but that’s as far as it went.
Although, saying that, it is awfully similar to stupidfuckingcustomers in name so you might want to use a name that’s different as it would be a comunal blog.
I don’t really know of any other comunal blogs either, so we could be pioneers of it.
Horse said
am October 10 2007 @ 3:39 pm
the irony would be so sweet.
coming together to introduce something through sheer shared hatred and out-spoken views.
Endemion said
am October 10 2007 @ 4:31 pm
OhFFS.com gets my blessing
Sounds good, nice and catchy!
Delmorpha said
am October 10 2007 @ 5:28 pm
OhForFucksSake.com (and co.uk) Officially Registered… just waiting for confirmation now and will update DNS etc later when it is
Biagrin said
am October 10 2007 @ 6:56 pm
cool - cant wait
BrownieBoy said
am October 10 2007 @ 8:28 pm
i bet this is the most comments on one topic EVER!
more than likely most of us got to delmorpha through SFC
Horse said
am October 10 2007 @ 8:44 pm
and brought us all together to form one big superblog!
the internetz won’t know what’s hit it
Delmorpha said
am October 10 2007 @ 10:34 pm
Right, invites to those who voiced interest have been sent. If you haven’t got one and want to join in just post a message or drop me an email and i’ll sort you out… the more the merrier…
The site should be updated around global DNS’s and live by the time I wake up in the morning so if its not currently online just wait a little longer. Biagrin will be in charge of the forums and their deployment.
I will post an official message on this blog when its starting to look a bit more in shape… if I’m not rocketed off to fucking South Wales tomorrow that will be then with a bit of luck. Happy times!
Star said
am October 10 2007 @ 10:41 pm
im interested feel free to send me an invite.
Endemion said
am October 11 2007 @ 8:17 am
Good job that man.
Khell said
am October 11 2007 @ 11:18 am
I’d just like to throw in a word for phorenzik, it really does suck that SFC has vanished!
SFC and Delmorpha have kept me sane at work for a while now, I’ll certainly try my hand at writing something for OhFFS to help spread the love!
Delmorpha said
am October 11 2007 @ 11:26 am
Thats the spirit Khell! I’ve sent you an email confirming your permission as a n00b writer… I’m trying to sort out user permissions and things so any problems just drop me an email. Basically you should be able to post to your own “blog” section at the moment which will aggregate to the main page so feel free to express yourself in the spirit of “oh For Fucks Sake”
phorenzik said
am October 11 2007 @ 11:28 am
Top notch stuff!
Biagrin said
am October 11 2007 @ 12:05 pm
even some of the larger and more popular blogs around dont get this many comments for one entry. I hope to see every one of you at the new site. We hope to make it the one place on the net where us normal folk can go and complain about the abnormal folk (the general public) without having to see that look on their faces when they think you are mad, or that you are making ridiculous statements that aren’t true.
phorenzik said
am October 11 2007 @ 12:17 pm
Yeah, but saying that, we’ve each posted about 16 times each. lol
Endemion said
am October 11 2007 @ 3:06 pm
Yeah, don’t think there is a need to check if this has been the most replied to post on here
Jenn said
am October 17 2007 @ 10:15 am
Sorry to see you lost your job over your site. It was really funny.
I hadn’t checked it in a while and when I found it was down I thought there might have been a server error or something.
Hope you get something new going and good. You might have to pick up a new screen name for your new blog if you are worried about your craggy-ass old geezer boss finding it because he can probably just google Phorenzik and find you again.
Mr Butterscotch said
am October 25 2007 @ 9:46 pm
Phorenzik mate, it’s taken me a while to track you down you know!
I’m really sorry to hear that you’ve lost your job and even sorrier to see that the blog won’t be returning in the same format - it was, as most people here have agreed, bloody hilarious.
Now that I’ve found this Delmorpha.com hopefully I’ll be able to keep ahead of the latest with you and
Oh For Fucks Sake.com…
Krys said
am October 27 2007 @ 10:22 pm
Man!He even moans in a statement! What a cunt!
phorenzik said
am November 3 2007 @ 1:16 pm
Well Krys, it’s a good job I’m not a big fat smelly virgin like you, otherwise I’d moan even more.
Also, You’re a massive bell end too!
If you reply to this message, you’re acknowledging that I have have won, and your mother is a fat prostitute.