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Back in March it was announced that Ninja Theory had been dropped by Sony (or vice versa) after the £25mil game failed to “wow” cretinous PS3 owners and sales of the game failed to “wow” Sony shareholders.

It came as no surprise though, and had I not have signed a Non Disclosure Act with the company until the game had been released, I could’ve told you this 18 months ago. You see I interviewed with Ninja Theory back in January ‘07 and after being definitively bored by there technical wankery of the PS3, I turned down the chance to work on Heavenly Sword in favour of eating my own fist more money at my previous employer.

* I can see you wondering whats brought me to talk about this today, so it was this post on UK:R about Games 100 best games of all time.

Anyway, I knew they weren’t for me within the first 5 minutes of the interview, when they questioned the “favourite games” section of my CV. My choice of Shenmue was almost mockingly scoffed at, like I knew nothing about gaming and had picked some 2 week old title like GTAIV…

In fact, fuck them… looking back they were mocking it, the cunts!

Unsurprisingly the interview progressed to them talking about Heavenly Sword and what type of game it was. My comment of “so its a bit like Golden Axe then with only the female character to select from?” didn’t go down particularly well but ironically, I was completely right… it is a fucking hack ‘n slash after all. Nothing more, nothing less… it just looks “pretty” and cost £24.9mil more than it’s 1989 arcade father.

I also came out the interview feeling slightly violated after they jotted down my ideas furiously like I was the fucking Dali Lama of Video Game Design. I’ve not played HS so I can’t comment if any of my input translated to the game but whatever. I’m sure something from that free labour brain storming session we had got brought up elsewhere.

Anyway, back to what I wanted to discuss and that was the Top 100 Greatest Games of all time, not according to Game or the children they had participate (seriously, the winners idea of the best game being Killzone induced coffee being spat on my monitor in a definite WTF moment). I just want to make a few points for future lists so they get a little bit closer to the mark:

• Anything in a Greatest X list has to be more than three years old. In video gaming I’ll let this slip to 12 months at a push, but titles that fall into this category had better be fucking amazing.
• Just because Sega don’t have a current gen console, doesn’t mean you can forget about their games. This also counts for Lucas Arts (they did more than Monkey Island) in the software platform.
• Arcade games count so stop leaving them out
• If the list doesn’t have Castlevania Symphony of the Night on it, it instantly fails

Call of Duty 4 is good, but above Zelda Ocarina of Time… you’re having a laugh aren’t you?!

Amy called first thing this morning to tell me GTA4 has landed this morning, so needless to say I’ve been bored fuckless for the remainder of the day trying to kill time.  I’ve done the following to avoid work:

• Updated my sites to the latest revisions in Fantango - I haven’t touched Oh For Fucks Sake yet though for fear of breaking it after it failed on another Drupal site
• Post a blog on OhFFS about Norton Internet Security and how wank it is…
• Wrote the following complaint letter to Kenco in an attempt to get free coffee out of them:

Just wanted to register my dissatisfaction with the sachet sizes for Kenco based products. I wouldn’t say the cups we use at our company are too large, in fact I would argue they were slightly below the “national average” yet the colour and flavour provided by a single use sachet was less than required to make the perfect cup of delicious Kenco goodness.

They come as a massive disappointment given their obvious benefits that the sealed retention of flavour gives as we often find ourselves using a 3 for 2 ratio to get adequate flavour and strength into our mugs. The coffee inside is always delicious, we just thought you should consider reviewing the portion sizes..

40 minutes to go….. for fucks sake… GTA4 better be awesome…

If you live in the Fylde area, starting next Tuesday we are running a games night in our local that everyone is welcome to. We had a dry run this week and although there were only 4 people involved playing repeatedly, some of the regulars even had a go on PGR4 and the SWOS mini league we had got a few older players interested. I think in future, once I actually take Rock Band down too, the night will become quite awesome!

 New posters coming today so the starting date is the 18th and every alternate week from then. We’re doing a quiz on the other Tuesdays which is also going to be fun!

Thought it was about time for a face lift of sorts… I’m a lazy bastard and far too busy with projects online and off to find the time to create a theme of my own, so I picked the first one that looked decent and new and installed it. It needs some tweaking but I think its a bit better than the last..

Does it mean I’ll be back to posting more regularly? I doubt it but the thought is there if nothing else!

I’ll start with a massive apology to everyone about the lack of updates in my life in general, not only to this site. An apology comes by the way of complaint, but yes, I’ve been work FAR too much recently and am about ready for a breakdown. After this weekends trauma, my cunt of a boss was like “But you’re still coming in tomorrow, right?”, fearing my personal and mental scars would jeopardise his business somehow and I wouldn’t be able to do the 12 1/2 hour day that ensued on the Monday. Sometimes the word “cunt” doesn’t say enough…

And on the back of that, today I got reprimanded for my persistent tardiness even though I never take a lunch, and on the back of the comments I’ve been leaving on my job sheets he was pissed off. Apparently it was an inappropriate outlet for my grievences and I should have approached him directly and am never forced into working my lunch (bullshit).

I wouldn’t mind so much but I’ve tried that already after approaching our supposed manager of scheduling about the extra hours I’ve been doing and never getting a lunch break and he said and i quote:

“I understand what you are saying about lunch breaks, I too find it difficult to step away from the desk to take a meaningful break. It requires a different type of discipline to detach from what you are doing especially in lieu of the deadlines we have to achieve. When you work it out let me know!”

Which is typical of the weasily little fucker he is, completely avoiding my questions and point and making some arbitrary comment that is utterly meaningless. This cunt is the reason our companies going down the swanny too… he has an “office” in the south yet works on his own and could do his job from home. I’m sure it’s really hard to have a lunch break when other people aren’t relying on your help… douchebag.

“When I work it out”. When I fucking quit more like…

My main boss also justified my shitty lunch setup by using my tardiness as a “swings and roundabouts” linchpin. Good one, dickhead… so if I was coming in on time every day for my Gold Star I would be getting my full one hour lunch break? Would I fuck, so don’t try and give me such bullshit.

I mean don’t get me wrong, if I had my own company and persistently saw a member of staff coming in 10 minutes late I would address it too, but 10 minutes of early morning work time vs. one hours worth of lunch break are in no way a “swings and roundabouts” trade off. Hows about we look at the average hours a month I’m working compared to what I’m being paid for. Lets deduct my lateness minutes and then add on the amount of times I’ve stayed late without even a whimper of complaint and see whether I’m the one taking the piss or is it you?

Bosses… why does a position of authority go to everyones head and you instantly have to become a prick?!

Oh, and whilst I’m on the subject of piss taking… wheres my fucking Christmas Bonus?? Nice lies people… nice lies..