delmorpha.com

Anyone whose read this blog more than once will know I’ve got more than a small problem with the radio. It’s like a direct tap to the hatred I have for the Bovine Masses… all I have to do to fill this is turn it on. This is the reason I very rarely listen to it when I can help it… I’m sure you’ll agree, most of the time I’m angry enough.

On a side note, I remember this one time I took my car into the garage and the grease monkey pointed out that my radio didn’t work. I drive an imported FTO just in case you cared, and Japan operates radio on a different frequency to the UK so my radio can only pick up static; a blessing in disguise you might say. Anyway, he offered to sort it out for me for free and I told him quite flatly not to bother. He looked hurt and confused, his facial expression suggested his peon brain couldn’t work out why someone wouldn’t want to be able to listen to the mindwashing air pollution that is radio. I just told him I have a 10 CD MP3 changer in the boot and I never listen to the radio anyway so it wasn’t worth his effort, but I appreciated the gesture. Prick.

No less than 30 minutes ago was a prime example why I don’t listen to the radio. Works van had just been fixed and we had to go collect it. It’s a shed on wheels and I fucking hate driving it, but needs must and all that shite. Normally I would just turn the radio off but without thinking I pulled the van out and headed back to base. I then got sucked in by some caller cunt on the radio and had to listen, if only for something to write about.

“Hi you’re through to Century FM, you’re live on the air”
“Can I just say a big I Love You to my fiancée Alison”

Already I can feel my piss boiling…

“Are you in the bad books or something?”

A fair point I felt… maybe this guy is just a pussy whipped faggot and his girlfriend is a 23 stone rotter but he stays with her because it’s either fuck a fat munter or fuck the dog, and he’s already on his second strike for that.

“No, no.. I just wanted to tell her I love her. I recently proposed on the plane on the way t’Eygpt and we got free champagne and everything”
“Was she surprised?”
“Yeah, she only thought I was going to the toilet. I did it on the tanoy and the whole plane cheered”

Firstly, if I was on that flight, the whole fucking plane wouldn’t have cheered. Id’ve been getting out of my seat running straight for the tanoy wire and wrapping it around his scrawny cunt of a neck. As a finale I’d be shoving the receiver so far down his oesophagus the next time he shits the whole fucking plane would hear that too.

Are there men in this world so blinded by pussy they’ll pull shit like this just to keep themselves in the good books? That a rhetorical question as I know the fucking answer is yes. If you’re already having to keep in the good books before you’re married, you’re with the wrong woman… she’s already rubbing her hands together seeing you for the fucktard sap you are. It’s even sadder when guys actually think this will improve after their married too… if you’re too dumb to realise this, you deserve to lose half of everything when she takes you to the cleaners…

The trouble is some men are desperate enough to try and pull stunts like this because they think its the way to a womans heart and they appreciate it. Trust me, the goodwill gestures have a relative half life of seaborgium in a womans mind… which is amazing when they can remember every bad thing you’ve ever done, regurgitating them like Google and your search history to the NSA…

Anyway, if any of his mates heard him on Century FM and happen to read this blog, roundhouse kick him square on in the teeth from me and everyone who reads Delmorpha.com. I’d say bollocks but by ringing up the radio station to tell Alison he loves her live on air, he’s just proven to the world she has them locked in a cupboard somewhere. The fucking cunt.