Stupid Fucking Callers : a tribute to StupidFuckingCustomers.blogspot.com
Part of my job involves handling calls and giving out technical support for some of the sites we maintain. This generally ranges from some douche has clogged the print queue and the print spooler wanting a restart, setting up new accounts on a server, chasing emails in a spam trap, etc etc… but every now and then some Darwin Award reject calls up and we all have a good laugh. Yesterdays caller was the best yet..
Apparently this guy has a Masters Degree in something or other, and I know that means shit really but this example goes to show that academic intelligence does not relate to common sense…
So I answer the call and this guy tells me his server is “down” - now in Support we know that usually doesn’t mean the server is down.. it just means you’ve just identified the person on the other end of the phone is a Know It All Fuck who thinks they know more than they actually do.
I pinged the server from my end and it was definitely on.. and they most definitely had internet access as I could see every other machine on their network. I asked him to double click his “two little TV screens” in the bottom right hand corner and tell me what it said (we have to relate the network tools to something these people understand… TV screens seems to get the message across).
He said “The Network Connection is unplugged” to which he said very sharply “but its definitely plugged into the back of my laptop, the Network Card must be broken..”. I was quite calm and asked him to trace the wire back to the wall, only to find the fucking cable was lying on the end of the table on his desk, next to the RJ45 socket.. 
Before I could say “fucking moron” he’d hung up and I was busy waiting for the next caller to brighten up my day…
To read more like minded tales of customer stupidity, I recommend visiting stupidfuckingcustomer.blogspot.com and saying hi to the guys there that deal with this shit every day!
