Nothing makes my piss boil more than people wanking off over how cute/great/amazing babies are. Get over it, children aren’t special.. Bill Hicks tried to tell the world that and he saw his numbers dwindle, but I’m afraid its true..
Anyway, I was recently subjected to one of the worst things my eyes and ears have ever been subjected to, so bad i wanted to get a soldering iron and burn out my eyeballs, then squirt superglue in my earholes so I would never have to go through it again.
I once thought and hoped that karma had caught up with the Bedingfield household for crimes against humanity by subjected the world to its torturous overtones when Daniel Bedingfield was involved in a quite serious car accident, but unfortunately for Mother Earth, he managed to recover. His torment thereafter has been limited, but his accident paved the way for the torture that is his horse faced sister, Natasha. Knowing how much I fucking hate horses, she was someone I was always destined to hate, and far from a refreshing change to the music industry.
Amy had seen her new video and had to subject me to it, for the kicks of my facial expressions undoubtedly, but I almost couldn’t believe it. The gates of Hell had opened and the visual feast of Satans bowels were pouring out with sounds to boot.
Seriously.. the song is called something like “I want to have your babies” and the premise is old Horseface goes around dating men, but secretly she just wants a kid. She probably found the lyrics written on the back of a rizla on the bus on her way to cash her giro, they certainly hit home to what most 15 year old chavettes are thinking. She goes with numerous guys all run like men, but eventually finds some metaphorical eunuch who does want a baby with her. The end involves probably one of the worst things I’ve ever heard, with her rap talking and describing the babies shes seeing in her head. How that got into the album track Ill never know, maybe it was added just for the video in the name of “artist licensing”, who knows/cares.. it makes me wish I had the Ebola virus.
I wish I had an advanced TiVo for this shit, something that could detect the first few frames of shitty music videos and put them on block. It wouldn’t even be hard to do. My version would say something like:
The following “music” video has been blocked:
Natasha Beddingfield - I want to have your babies
Under the Crimes Against Music Act 2007. If you do want to listen to this atrocity, enter “666″ on your remote now.
Super Mega TiVo - making the World better by blocking the things that suck, one turd at a time.
So if you’re feeling like puking so hard your intestines feel like theyre on the way out then jump across to YouTube and watch the video… it might be good for a couple of days of work with a bad back if you retch hard enough (Im sure you will)..
