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What I find really, really attractive about women

17 Jul, 2007 3 Comments

I’m sat in my all new computer room and I’ll admit I’m half watching Big Brother in the front room whilst I peddle my wares on eGay. It got me thinking and I’d just thought I’d share what I find really, really attractive about women as that fucking stupid “Predator Williams” lookalike grates against my tolerance level for acceptable humanity and I wonder how we haven’t reversed the gun ban in this country.

So what I’m sharing is what I find really attractive about women.

For starters, I love it when women are aggressive; not in the “ooh, I’m going to be assertive today and tell the milkman we only want one pint of milk from now on”. No… Real. Hardened. Aggression. Primeval even. A woman so aggressive she could be confused as the Alpha Male of the group when she’s socialising my friends. I love that.

God, I also love being told what to do, like she has a powerful cock and balls right between her legs and you’re the one with the vagina and child bearing hips. Belittled? Nooo, not at all… she’s just once again asserting her dominance.

I also find attractive is when women have any of the following features:

Large Hands

An Adams Apple

A deeper voice than mine

Ape Like facial features

A stern and proper hair cut

A Monobrow (to match my own)

A Love Bulge

Mix them all together and I’m in hog heaven…

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What?

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No, I’m being serious guys… I fucking love it!

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…..ok, ok… you’re wondering what’s wrong with this picture aren’t you?

Too fucking right you are… if you think any of this shit is appealing, you’re what’s technically known as a “homo” and I recommend you ditch the bitch and get with The Cock Brigade.

Seriously, a fucking reality check people. What is making a generation of women believe that them being all “empowered” makes them more attractive to anyone other than leather-clad dikes? I imagine most men like the woman to be womanly, with her womanly features and her female-centric personality, not a ~~censored by Channel 4~~* whose “pushing it out”.

Speaking of black women, what is it about certain black women that makes them think they’re irresistible to men?? It started around the time that the douchebag that is Halle Berry was somehow voted sexiest woman in the world. I must’ve been asleep for that poll. I don’t mean this in the whorish “look at me” way that some women who crave attention do, I mean this in a arrogant and aggressive sexual predator type way.

Both Charlie and that dong from Eastenders I wrote about have this quality and unsurprisingly, both have pissed me off over the past months! Neither of you is gorgeous, you’re both just annoying. End of argument. I get that for some reason you’ve got it into your head you think you’re divine. I’m just here to tell you, you’re not. Get over yourselves you stupid whores…

Oh, and for the record, Halle Berry isn’t attractive at all. She looked like a man before the short hair, so it did her no favours at all having a 10 year old boys hair cut later on in her so called career.

* Big Brother recently brought a housemate out of the show for using the word “nigger” in what was a passing comment but then allowed another housemate to stay after using the word “faggot” in a clearly derogatory manner, showing themselves for the hypocritical bastards they are. This also spurred a race row in Britain which helped to show a large percentage of the British public for the cattle fed bovine morons they are too.

10 Video Game Vixens you wished were naked whilst playing…

25 Jun, 2007 2 Comments

This is by no means a definitive list and I am very open to additions. This isn’t a top ten, its just ten Video Game Vixens you wished were naked whilst playing. After the last rather homoerotic article, I figured I needed to inject a little testosterone back into the website! The games will probably feature a lot of fighting game characters because they generally do the most “bouncing” but we’ll see how this list goes…

1. Chun Li - Street Fighter 2 and onwards
Chun Li was always hot and was one of the first games I remember trying to pause to get a glimpse of panties on the SNES. If you haven’t seen Street Fighter 2 The Animated Movie and the shower scene/fight that proceeds it, well, quite frankly you’re missing out…

2. Mai - King of The Fighters
Aah, the first set of truly bouncy boobs to appear in a video game. Sure, they might have bounced a little in other games, but King of the Fighters made a point of having Mais breasts being like two puppies wrestling in a sack. I could never work out whether she did have panties on either in the arcade… later, again with the pause button, I found out she did… shame! 3. Kasumi - Dead or Alive
Whilst I would all of the female characters in Dead or Alive, Kasumi really was the original babe in the game. I really was 99 years old when I got this game.. hehehe!

4. Tifa - Final Fantasy 7
I’m actually playing through Final Fantasy 7 again at the moment.. I found my Playstation in an old box when we were moving and the third disk was sat there calling me! Anyway, theres no doubt Tifa was hot and the game would’ve been infinitely better if throughout the game she was indeed naked.
5. Rebecca Chambers - Resident Evil
What a different game Resident Evil would’ve been if Chris had found Rebecca Chambers on the bed with her legs akimbo, dilling herself completely naked (yes Dave, its called porn). Or, similar to Illbleed on the Dreamcast, she gradually lost more and more clothing as the zombies maul at her… that would’ve been awesome…

6. Nozomi Harasaki - Shenmue
Ah Nozomi and the plaid skirt goodness! Was I the only person to find out the hard way that you couldn’t see up that skirt when she’s stood outside the flower shop?? No….? Good!

7. Namco Race Girl - Ridge Racer
I have a gashapon of the Namco Race Girl in an orange dress with black over the knee socks… its nice!8. Sakura - Street Fighter Alpha
Maybe not naked, just no panties would’ve been fine… Idve been staring at that game so hard Idve burnt a hole in the TV…

9. Ivy - Soul Calibur
No doubt Ivy was the sluttiest in Soul Calibur, tight PVC and a whip… what a whore!

10. The Idolm@ster
The only reason surely to manage an annoying Japanese Pop Group would be to get into all of their knickers so why not cut to the chase and have the ability to mute the annoying singing, and just have them dance around naked instead. Now thats an idea for a game… Lapdancing M@ster… you read it here first!

Well, I’ve added some NSFW images on my images page on my site from random googling… I was going to add them to this page, and maybe I will when I get a brief moment but for now jump over here. The folder is open so feel free to add some better pictures if you like…