I’m sick of Myself
I’m sick of being nice to people. I’m sick of answering the phone with a smile, just to receive a shit load of abuse by someone who doesn’t deserve the oxygen they breathe. I’m sick of ignorant people giving me “that” look like I’m something scraped off the bottom of their shoe. I’m sick of doing everything to support “the children” like having sex and child birth was some fucking miracle event. I’m sick of supporting scum with my hard earnt tax pennies. I’m sick of this country. I’m sick of complaining about the same fucking things and nothing ever happening about it. I’m sick of myself.
Most of all I’m sick of the Bovine Masses; their ignorance can account for every single factor in my Hump of Hate*.
Yes, it’s Monday morning and I’m fucked off. I was happy when I woke up… well, I wouldn’t go as far as happy, but I certainly wasn’t in the filthy mood I’m in now. I thank the drive into work for that. It’s the faces of the dumb cunts on their way to work. Smug. Content. Sheep. They flock to their employers like drones, spending most of their day on social networking sites and calling me when their PC doesn’t work. Their cumbersome existence is on the brink of devolution and they don’t even realise it. They pay their taxes. They watch The X Factor. They fade into nothingness without even realising it.
Some mornings I pray one of them walks out in front of my car. I’m not going to go out of my way to brake for them, I’ll just plow through, justifying the decision for the sake of humanity when questioned by the police. If you’re too stupid to cross the road you defiantly shouldn’t be breeding. Survival of the fittest and all that…
And that’s the problem I have with this Nanny State Philosophy and the Government Doctrine they seem to decree at the moment; it makes no fucking sense. Why are we coating a nation of fucktards in cotton wool? Why would the Government want to keep the gene pool stagnant? Why has Common Sense been removed from our every day decision making ability skill set in favour of puritanical measures?
This country loves a “knee jerk” reaction. It makes those in charge look like they’re in control and actually doing things, it doesn’t matter they’ve just missed the initial event, they’ll just go completely overboard with their reaction. Dumblane found that out the hard way…
General stupidity makes me feel isolated and alone. Whilst most of them trundle along ignorant of the bigger picture, my brain is processing thousands of permutation’s of life and all its woes. I have a dark place in my mind I try and keep out of, but the more I resist it, the more I find myself in there, spouting hate. Sometimes I too want to trundle, I just can’t bring myself to do it. I can’t ignore how wrong this Planet is.
But I do, day by day, die a little more inside. I do my bits to be a social square block fitting in a round hole. I write my hate filled blogs. I swerve towards chavs that walk slowly across the road thinking you’re going to move for them. I burn arrogant old fucks with boiling hot water. I write letters complaining about shitty things that don’t really matter. I set fire to the work of an undeserved billionaire authors work in the name of justice. My life slowly evaporates before my eyes in a sea of wasted time.
Don’t worry though… I know I have no powers to change any of this. I’m poor, I’m lazy, I have no connections to anyone who cares and no way of rallying enough support for my voice to be heard. Even if I could, would I really want to.
So I’ll keep on truckin’ , doing my bit to not fit in. Am I an anti-hero or just a manic depressive douchebag? Who knows… and more poignantly.. who fucking cares. If anything, it makes for good blogging! 
