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I fucking hate old people at the best of times but impatient old cunts do my tree in. Why is it that old people pick the most illogical moments to try and shave minutes off their day!?

A prime example of this was this morning. We have what’s known as “The Scolder” in our tea room at work; a instant boil water machine that likes to spit from the sides even with the most tentative of touches. Well I fucking”learned” this biddy good this morning (sic).. stupid cow!

So I’m minding my own business as I do, trying to avoid any contact with any dumb fuck first thing in the morning so as to not have to punish them with a mouthful of abuse and this arrogant old bitch pushes passed me and starts washing cups, blatantly in the way. If I was sat down, it would’ve been the equivalent of someone just sitting down on top of you. Mid-afternoon I might have let this slide, but this morning I wasn’t in the mood…

I angled the cup in her general direction and whacked the hot tap onto full. The result being practically boiling water splashed over her hands and as she winced in pain, I say “Oh, sorry… I didn’t realise you were you were there”. I turned back, filled my cups and walked off. Fucking biddy loser… have some of that!

What is it about being old that makes you believe that everyone should give you instant respect and move out of your way. Maybe 10 years ago you could almost guarantee the old fucker had something to do with the war and perhaps had it “hard”, but this generation of Silver Surfers are actually too young to command instant respect. They were children of the war, not the fighters who risked their lives to protect our freedom. Anyone younger than 80 is now too young to have had any direct influence or served in the military… i.e. 18 years old in 1945 and even then they’dve had a pretty short innings.
My philosophy has always been you have to earn respect with me, no matter who you are. Just because you’re old doesn’t mean you can be a cunt and you deserve respect because of your weathered face.

And while I’m on the subject, why are you trying to shave seconds off stupid things like this when you drive everywhere at 22mph, insist on cashing your giro still at the post office because you “don’t trust them banks” and repeating day after day that things aren’t as good as they used to be. The reason things arn’t as good is because they’ve moved on to better things and support for the things you used to do has gone. Things are actually better than they used to be, its just you’re stuck in the past… you old fucks…

Biddies… can’t live with them (smell of piss), can’t kill them (damn euthanasia laws) can’t leave them to wither in an old folks home (costs too much). All you can hope for is a cold snap this winter…