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I arrived at 2:30pm to collect the 2.5Si BMW Convertible Z4 for the weekend to be disappointed from the get go. You see, I’d been sat on my auction win for 3 or 4 months prior to my 25^th Birthday (for the insurance) and then when I did go see them, I had to wait an additional 2 months before the car was “free”. In this time they’d changed the rental car, for the worse, to the 2.0i model, still convertible, but still a downgrade.

My heart sank; I felt cheated – my own car is 2 litre injection with 170bhp, its front wheel drive mind but it’ll still knock out 0-60mph in under 8 seconds. I was promised something that was supposed to do 0-60 in 6.5 seconds, not something that was slower than my own car. I actually assumed the 2.0i Roadster would be slightly quicker than my FTO, but looking at the datasheet proved otherwise.

0-100 km/h (0-62 mph) : 8.2 seconds
Max power: 150.00 PS (110 kW or 148 HP) at 6200 Rev. per min.
Weight: 1,295 kg (2,855.0 pounds)

The three most important elements of this sports car and they’re all worse than my 10 year old FTO. It even weighs 150kg more than my FTO, and that has an actual roof and 2 extra seats in the back. Never mind, it would be my first, and definitely not my last, experience with a rear wheel drive car.

The guy pulled up to the BMW entrance thankfully not in a silver Z4, it was Metallic Midnight Blue. It was probably the nicest colour it possibly could have been for the Z4 looking at the Car Configurator BMW have on their website – most of the others are shades of Grey or a standard Red.. how fucking boring for a car of this supposed class. It also had the 18” Star Spoke Alloys and Beige Oregon Leather seats; at least they hadn’t skimped on the extras for the hire car (but why would they… they want you to remember it and buy one after your experience after all).

After the pep talk from the Sales Monkey, I was ready to roll. The first thing I noticed was the gearbox. Most hire cars I’ve driven have taken some getting used to when finding the biting point. Not the Z4… like a well lubed anus, the shaft eased through the six speed gearbox with no jerks or bumps at all. The shift was firm and purposeful, but the clutch swallowed each gear change like a well practiced whore.

I also enjoyed the low warble from the engine that, for a 2 litre 4 cylinder engine, sounded pretty mean. Unlike a big exhaust on a Chav Mobile, this was the car itself making the sounds and putting your foot down was a pleasure.

But not for the petrol consumption; given what I felt was a severely underpowered model, I often found my foot on the floor pushing the Z4 to the 3600rpm maximum torque range to get any life out of the engine. The car was a dream to drive at this power output, nippy and responsive, without ever feeling like you’re going to put it into a lamp post. Controlled. Restricted.

By far my favorite element of the car was the handling. Having never experienced a rear wheel drive car first hand I have never thrown the back end of a car out on purpose; once or twice in the wet in the FTO I have spun the car, but never a controlled “drift”. The traction control rarely allowed the back end to come out too much, but you could push the car hard into corners and it would beg for more speed. This was really where I enjoyed the Z4, or at least the rear wheel drive element.

The car itself is stunning, and a definite head turner, especially with the roof down. The non hairdresser convertible element was definitely a bonus, and you could cruise with the top down not feeling like a twat.

The sound system had good and bad points, loud enough to pump out Ministry to the world so they can all feel your pain, but the CD player itself is shit. Proper Shit. Every bump in the road jumped the CD… given that its 2007 and antishock CD players have been around for years, I couldn’t understand this and thought it might be my disc, but changing the CD had the same issue. Disappointing for a £25k car with an integrated CD unit.

The strangest element of the car I found was its ability to make speeds feel faster than they actually are. The driving position was excellent (almost identical to my FTO; low, good field of vision and perfectly positioned eye height) yet somehow even pottering around town felt too fast at times. I’ve hit the speed limiter in the FTO at about 120mph (its difficult to say accurately what speed I was doing as the speedo goes to 110mph and my needle was well over that) and that didn’t feel as fast as doing 90-100 in the Z4.

So, would I have a Z4? If it was free then of course but £25k+ is too pricey in my opinion for the 2.0i Roadster given the alternatives on the market. The car is beautiful, and I would definitely have a 3.0 Sports Z4, which is the only Real Z4 worth owning anyway.

But BMW do make this watered down version for those who want the BMW badge, a Z4 on their driveway and who can’t actually drive a real sports car. Unfortunately that’s all this Z4 was.. a pale shade of a sports car I really wanted, and is a definite let down and not worth the money for anything other than the poser value. I loved the experience, don’t get me wrong.. it was only once I got back in my FTO on the Monday morning I realised how overpriced that experience was, and the reality of what you could have for the money clicked.

The BMW Z4 2.0i Roadster is unfortunately a twats car.. it may as well be a Nova with a Bodykit on it as it is underpowered and looks faster than it really is. Posers, Hairdressers and Gay Lords are all still welcome at BMW it would seem…