delmorpha.com

Tax if you earn £25k a year

Tax if you earn less than a glass of water

Finally… a fucking tax break that actually effects me in a positive way whilst ensuring low paid and underskilled “scroats” get hit at their purses instead! Its about time things started to even up even if it is just a little…

According to Fool, the break even point is £16k, but realistically this is going to hit people on minimum wage the hardest. To be honest I’m not quite sure is the best place to be penny pinching from but I welcome a tax increase that will take more from the Eastern Europeans that come here to work those exact jobs and avoid giving anything back to the country they’re sucking dry.

So, if you earn minimum wage, unlucky… you’re going to be paying more tax next year to support.. well… your own kind. Shut the fuck up moaning before you start.

Not be a condescending twat but maybe you should’ve tried harder at school, paid more attention in class or studied a little harder in the evenings instead of sucking dick for crack. Or maybe, just maybe you were conceived with a weak sperm and your parents were brother and sister… if minimum wage is all you’ve been managing for the last few years, it might be worth asking them….

In any case, look at it this way; according to an email I’ve just received from QPS Graduate Recruitments, the average salary in the UK is £24,000 meaning you “dodge” around £3,000 a year in tax compared to the Average Joe… and you’ve probably had the audacity to call students “tax dodgers” in the past haven’t you… you fuck!

Yesterday was a bad day. Mentally and Physically draining. Having arrived in work shockingly early I attempted to work on the  data take on job I have to get finished this week to no avail. Having already mentioned coming home to do it, I packed up my shit and brought it home to work in the peace and quiet of my own office.. our office isn’t exactly the ideal environment for concentrating on coding!

In any case I worked pretty much no stop from about 2pm until about 11:30pm running my code, removing whatever element was found to be fucked, then rerunning. 26500 of 70000 records later my brain was fried; I stared at the TV and almost blanked out. I’d been staring at code and spreadsheets for 15 solid hours and the monotony of this task had taken its toll on my brain. I got into bed and began my Voyage into Tripout City.

Something wasn’t right and I began to freak out. My brain, tired yet under-stimulated began to race from the mixture of caffeine and cake in my system. I’d felt this before but not since I was a child; it was the foreboding enclosure of a nightmare.

I began to feel very aware of myself and my own existence and the fragility of it was what my mind was set on making clear. A mixture of anxiety and fear set in and I knew I was destined for a rough couple of hours. I got up and had to find something to stimulate my brain for fear it might explode.

I paced repeatedly around my front room and could hear the ringing of every electronic device left on standby. Even the feint noise of the pipes knocking was enough to intensify my experience causing my distress. I was going to be sick.

I ran to the bathroom and dry heaved.  It was coming but it wasn’t there. I sat on the toilet seat, head in hands, and gain the intensity of my own existence crept in. A thousand what-ifs rushed through my head and then the inability to conceptualise the end point of my life. I turned around and began to throw up.

I crawled back into bed and curled up behind Amy, attempting to concentrate on anything other than this self awareness but the questions kept coming and I didn’t have the answers. Drifting in and out of consciousness, I was unaware of the exact point the mood left me but it did like a great weight of my shoulders. Somehow I felt myself click back into place like I’d been sedated back in with reality.

It has been one of the most intense experiences of my life, as strange as that sounds, and not one I would like to revisit any time soon. I’m still working on this data throughout today again but I’m having regular fresh air breaks and trying not reduce the amount of caffeine I’m having. I still feel well and truly freaked out by the whole thing though - the brain is a funny thing!

No… this surprisingly isn’t a blog about Russell Crowe, its a tale of last nights sin and debauchery that involved Dax and I beating a few chavs close to death in a McDonalds!

Now before I start, let me explain I’m not a violent person and don’t actively seek fights. We just somehow became the instigators of a fight with a group of disrespectful teenage scroats and ended up teaching them a lesson that hopefully they won’t forget. Let me explain!

Yesterday was “Strippers Day” and although giving people plenty of notice about this, it ended up just me and Dax. So we started with a few beers at home, then beers in the pub for the football, then casino for the rugby and on to the strippers.

Two seedy strip joints on Blackpool seafront later we found ourselves walking into town to Jenx, one of the only 2 rock bars in this shithole for a dose of rocking out with cocks out. Rather than risk a bout of food poisoning from some back alley kebab house, we decided McDonalds was the safest bet on the way and grabbed some much needed stodge.

So theres a group of chavs in there and they start giving the counter staff shit. Like most people, normally I’dve just left this and mumbled something about “no respect” and walked out, but being pissed Dax wasn’t going to stand for it. He grabbed the main chav starting the trouble and threw him out McDonalds. There was practically a round of applause at this point but being chavs, this wasn’t going to be the end of matters.

I walk outside to back up Dax in a barrage of abuse from the group and one of them comes at me, throwing a punch. A step back avoids this and I return forward with a crack straight in this cunts face. Dax grabs the fucker and after a round of us both punching his face they end up on the floor and I get a swift boot in, his head bouncing against the McDonalds window. Dax finishes him off with a few blows to the face and gets up to the original chav coming at him.

What happened with them next is a bit hazy but when I did see them, Dax was on top of him punching him in the face like Edward Norton on top of that blonde guy in Fight Club. In any case, I was dealing with my own battle; some fucking woman chav throwing milkshake on me and swinging at me.

Now I’ve never hit a woman before, and wasn’t about to start with her so I did my best to push her away and defend myself from blows. I have a rather large bruise on my right bicep which must’ve come from her. Anyway.. a load of them were hurling abuse at us, oblivious to the fact they started this by being chavs in the first place, when she swings one of her Rockports right towards my bollocks.

Fortunately for me, and my unborn children, she narrowly missed, connecting with my inner thigh (again another rather large bruise) but I snapped. My fist clenched I being to motion towards knocking this bitch clean out when Dax grabs me and tells me we need to get out of there ASAP. Looking over, I can see why… the lad on the floor was a bloody mess and a big black guy is heading over to us to split things up. He ended up being from McDonalds and just told us to get out of there, thanking us for cleaning up their “mess”.

So I’m nursing a hangover now with a rather large glass of coke holding it trying to rest my fist which is aching quite badly. With a bit of luck there will be a few less chavs on the planet and the thought of that makes the pain somewhat worth it. I severely doubt it, and they’ll use it as an excuse to get off work and brag about it to their mates…

I’m not a violent person usually too…

Well, we’ve done it. Oh For Fucks Sake is an official site and we are live with a fresh new Drupal install! I have made a first post and sent out the initial round of invites to everyone who expressed an interest in joining forces to create this SuperBlog. As we discussed in the previous post, anyone interested in coming on board is more than welcome to by posting a message here or emailing me directly at delmorpha (at) delmorpha.com

As it stands we definately have a work in progress, but thanks to Drupal being ready to go out of the box, I’m sure content-wise you will have a feast of fun in no time at all. Hopefully, other than design changes, we should begin to roll out pages quickly and easily, and should notice no difference to the site foundations. Thanks to Biagrin, we will also have a forum that should bridge easily to the site allowing n00bs that want a chance to blog and have their work on the site to do so… its going to be awesome.

So what does that mean for Delmorpha.com? Well, to be honest not a lot will change. I will be using both outlets to express the varying degrees of angry life commentary but I will try and find more of a focus for both sites. Maybe I’ll keep this blog for moaning about life and do a special on the ohFFS site for the letters I write and current events..

In any case, this should be testomony to what a bunch of angry bastards can achieve if they come together to reign hate on the world. I’m glad we’re turning a shitty event into something darkly beautiful… and with a bit of good fortune Phorenzik will be in employment before we know it. I know one thing for sure though… with the crowd both SFC and this site brings in, its going to be anything but nice!

So, born is a new URL to bookmark at http://ohforfuckssake.com/ - we’ll see you there!

Our boss found the blog.

I don’t work there anymore.

I feel pretty ashamed at the moment. I did over 5 years there and it all came down to this.

I know some of the stuff I blogged about was bad, but a lot was over exaggerated for comedic effect and lots of stuff was made up entirely. I thought everyone knew this?

My boss had every right to be annoyed, but he definately missed the point with a lot of it. It’s hard to convey emotion through words sometimes. I think he read too much into some of the posts and assumed malicious attacks on his character that I simply did not mean to convey. It was a joke that went a bit too far.

I think the post that seemed to annoy him the most was the ‘Top tips at work’ section. I posted something about stealing a quid from the till. This was entirely made up. I’ve never stolen anything from there because it’s not in my nature to do so. I may be a lot of things, but a thief certainly isn’t one of them. I even remember doing something in the comments section about me not actually stealing anything and that the post was made up. I have a strange sense of humour that some people just don’t get.

Basically, my boss now thinks that I was shit, was always shit and always will be shit. The truth of the matter is that the only thing I really did wrong was blog about the stuff that annoys me.

I could go on forever about who was wrong and who was right. The fact is that my boss was in the wrong with certain working conditions. I moaned about them, went too far, and lost my job.

MarioMark still works there. The things he said were not as bad as the things I said.

I want to forget about things now and move on.

Phorenzik

A big shout goes out the Phorenzik here… we all enjoyed his blog at Delmorpha.com and his and MarioMarks’ writings were truly brilliant and heart-felt by many people. Their link to us was the reason for many of your hits to this site and we thank them both for their support. It is a shame it’s gone, no doubt about that.

Today is a very sad day for the Internetz