delmorpha.com

When I was 12 or 13 I had a paper round and I fucking hated it. I was a scrawny little runt and could barely lift the bag, plus I hate mornings so getting up to deliver papers was something I relished. At the time I needed the money for booze and drugs, you know, the usual things teenagers spend their money on, so I got on with it. The concept of delivering papers for about £1.25 a day in my mind is called “slave child labour”, but for some reason there’s some legal loophole that allows paper shops to exploit kids in this manner…

I’m sure there are kids that did love this job though, and the natural transition for those people is from PaperBoy to PostMan. Same job, just as a man the bag isn’t so crippling. Obviously, like many other jobs as complicated as this, the pay isn’t great, but theoretically their jobs could be done by a child, so the positions attract those with the mental capacities as such.

I mean there aren’t many jobs left where training consists of “Ever been a paperboy?” “Yes” “Same premise just you have the addresses on too”. Done. No further training required. In-fucking-fact, a Paperboys job is more difficult.. the address isn’t wrote on each paper and you have a selection to choose from. I got my job wrong a few times when some knob jockey would have The Times throughout the week, then go for The News of the World on a Sunday for downtime reading.. if I had the address wrote on the paper it would’ve been a completely brainless activity!

So why in the fuck are a bunch of lazy, jobs less difficult than a 12 year old childs, mother fuckers on strike today over pay?? I’d say minimum wage for a glorified paper round was more than adequet compensation. Hell, you even get exercise and a free bike - I had to pay for my own mountain bike at 12 after saving up and using my birthday money.

Postmen of Britain, get the fuck back to work you lazy bastards and be grateful a) The Polish or b) Children aren’t able to take your jobs because if they could, they most certainly would, and more relevantly, be grateful for the more than fair rewards for doing so.

Edit: I had to laugh at this message I just got off Dax :

Whats the point in doin’ a strike thicko post men………they will just spend twice as long at work tomorrow with 2 days worth of mail!

So true… so true!

Edit 2: This got me thinking even more… rather than strike, these dumb fucks should’ve posted every letter to your address to your neighbour for their full route. This would’ve caused more of a uproar as like most peoples neighbours, mine are cunts… Id’ve been more pissed off about having to deal with them than a day without mail, and it’dve got them more notice… Then again, I am a thinker…

For someone who has worked in graphic design and web design, this blog looks pretty shit. No offence to Beccary, whose theme I’m currently using (which is nice), I just mean the header and a few other bits aren’t up to my usual standards. Its the usual scenarios of “if it ain’t broke” and not being able to work on things outside of work hours at the minute.

Well my DSL will hopefully be live when I get home, if not, it will be Monday according to “Sly” and that pending, I will be focusing on giving this site some spit and polish.

To start with I’ve asked my very talented (yet very lazy) friend Warde to draw me some Chibi style images of myself and Horse in various scenarios related to our blog posts and I will make them into a funk fresh banner. He did a preliminary sketch and I was bored of code so I began tracing inking it. Looking pretty good thus far don’t cha think?

Yesterday I received another £2 worth of vouchers off KP with the above rather generic sounding complaint response. I now have enough for a couple of kilograms worth of nuts from Home Bargains (500g bags are 79p I think) so I’m going to be nuttastic soon enough. lets just hope karma doesn’t catch up with me and I choke on said nuts… oh the irony…

I don’t know what’s with all the Tim Henman anger at the moment, but I guess he’s the main symbol of the British fan following at Wimbledon, a sport I hate and I have to fund its TV presence by paying my TV Licence. Its especially annoying as its the only sport the BBC follows the coverage of solely when Tennis sucks balls. Period.

Well his defeat in Wimbledon today inspired this new wallpaper, with him being spanked my Layton Hewitt I believe. I probably could’ve added hundreds of his disappointed face, these were on the first page of Google unsurprisingly when searching for his name!

Maybe next year Tim Tim, maybe next year…

I’m such a Software Professional. See… just look at this warning message I’ve added to the code I’m working on… it even tells you “you’re gay” if the device fails to initialise!